April 9, 2021

My cat brought me the gift of a dead mouse to my bed this morning.  Her delight was over the top as she playfully tossed it into the air then watched it land on my mattress.

I got Mr. Pujari's Biology class today.  The kids were amazing except one kid needed to go to the bathroom after another and the classroom door was self locking.  After the umpteenth time I went to open the door for returning students I told the class that I was going to get skinny today just opening the door for them.

One student went to get some water and slammed his hand into a desk.  I expressed concern, "Are you okay?  Take care of yourself sweetheart!"

This produced amused snickers throughout the room to which I responded, "You're all my sweetheart." I don't think they were happy about the news.  I'm not how much of an insult this is to me but I can say that my ego was bruised.

In the fourth period during the last ten minutes of class a student got bored and used heavy metal chair legs as a drumming instrument against the floor.  I tolerated it for a while then I offered quizzically, "Did that chair ever do anything to you?" The student got the hint and stopped his behavior.

As the bell rang and he was leaving I told him to leave innocent chairs alone.

During the early morning Mike presented to me the philosophy of enjoying the doing instead of anticipating the arrival or achievement.  Enjoyment of the doing in essence, is the cornerstone of meditation.  

Your mind can run away and ruminate giving way to stress and anxiety.  Meditation provides the clarity and openness to occupy the present moment.

According to Eckhart Tolle, the future never exists except as an idea, a thought.  The future quickly becomes the past.  As such it is then a reflection.

In my philosophy you can be a complete fuck up.  It's okay.  You have my personal permission because scientifically you are  biologically driven.  Your mentality derives from your physicality.  You were born with your programming.  

The end game is not self mastery.  The end game is simply where you arrive.  We are individuals on our unique paths and some of us have to make the same mistake twenty times to others learning from their mistake once.

There is no judgement.

There is only acceptance.

By 6:30am getting to work was on the menu and I texted to Mike:

"Well I think I actually have to get my ass out of my bed at this time

My ass is not cooperating"